Healing Alchemy: Sunny and Anne

This week Sundancer checked in with me. She met me in a dream. I panicked because I thought I had forgotten to give her food and water. Then I noticed that she had plenty of fresh fruit and other things to eat and drink. She perked up and we had a good visit.

I’ve had to “meet her” in this way – psychically – for several years now. I don’t know where she is because her new owner took her and her mate out of this region. We still connect, however, and it makes me happy.

Sunny came into my life in 1997 through a series of synchronicities. She is a gorgeous blue and gold macaw… with a laugh track that can make the most serious person laugh. She is a very smart bird and quite the character, and the lover. She and I went through a lot together. During my divorce, moves, lost love, death of loved ones, financial problems, depression, isolation, she was there for me. When my life shifted to love, joy, fun, travel, another move, relationship, bonding, her life became difficult. I had promised her a “birdy boy”, so we ended up finding her a mate. Then she felt complete too.

I have lots of wonderful stories about my Sunny Bird. The first day she came to live with me I had nowhere to put her and she sat on my shoulder as I sat in my office in front of my computer. I was waiting for a cage to be delivered; I had never been this close to a big bird – she was as big as my head, sitting on my shoulder. Would she peck out my eyes? How could I get her off of me when she went around to the back of my neck when I tried to move her – and then pecked at my fingers, letting me know she wanted to stay right there on my neck?? As we sat there she began to spit up some food to feed me. This is a way that birds show their love – they feed each other, and Sunny was offering me food for the first of millions of times she would do this over the next few years.

Sunny was a total delight to me and to my ex-husband, Mark. She had very good hygeine and manners, and she talked and laughed constantly. Although macaws have the cognitive abilities of a four-year-old human, they also have the emotional temperament of a two-year-old human. Ugh!!  Mark and I had no children, but we had adopted a perpetual two-year-old!!  What were we thinking?? 

I think that often animals adopt us rather than the other way around. I know that Sunny sought me out and I was available and open to receive her. During our first year together I traveled to India for over a month with International Rotary. She appeared to me energetically for the first time while I was there and let me know what she and Mark were up to – just checking in. I thought it was curious and when I returned home, sure enough, Mark verified that what she had shown me was, in fact, true. That was before I took classes in animal communication!!

Mark and I decided to divorce and Sunny and the other animals stayed with me. During the difficult “dark night of the soul”, others passed through my life – Sunny was there for me, and I was there for her. She was my friend, confidant, child, parent, soul-mate. I shared my emotions with her and she taught me about love and joy – I still had to find PEACE elsewhere!!  ;-))

I have many favorite memories of Sunny. Most of them are about the good times rather than times like when she would scream “Want some banana!!” over and over until she got some.

• Taking showers together were fun until she broke her wing. We would always primp in front of the bathroom mirrors as we dried our hair and feathers sharing the blow-drier. 
• Traveling to a seminar retreat for three weeks with her and Naftali, where they both won the hearts of all who attended, was nurturing to me, even if the people I sat next to were still wary of her big bill!!  ;-))  I enjoyed having my little family with me!
• Dancing disco with this wonderful creature gave new meaning to swinging as she would balance with her long wings as I swung her around into a “dip”. We really enjoyed waltzing together too!! 
• Cooking together provided intimate time for bonding, where she would stand next to me on the kitchen counter. I would cut vegetables in one sink while she busily shredded compost in the other sink – we worked well side-by-side. We were partners! 
•  Watching television with the cats was always a fun family event. Sunny would sit on my lap with a cat on each side of me. I’d have to make sure they didn’t all go after each other’s tails.
• Sitting on top of her big cage, Sunny would often climb down and walk around the room chasing cats and laughing as they scurried away – that was fun to watch. They knew they had better respect her and that sharp beak on the front of her face!! 
• Taking afternoon walks around the neighborhood always attracted attention – she was a colorful arm-full.
• Vacationing together at Myrtle Beach was a new experience for both of us. It was the first time that Sunny and I traveled together, and on the way we stopped to tour an antibellum mansion that friends had restored in Dillon, SC.  She sat on my shoulder as we took the hour-long tour; we enjoyed the cool drink of water offered on that hot day as we shared the glass together. She was a perfect lady… no droppings or squawks or attacking others!! We both enjoyed our time together.
• Visiting the vet for an annual check-up was not fun for my sweet bird. The way doctors have to hold big birds to draw blood or take temperature looks cruel but actually protects the bird from hurting herself – or the doctor. It took three of us to hold Sunny one visit, and she screamed at the top of her lungs the whole time she was being held down. After that she let me take her in my arms and she rested her exhausted head on my chest while I calmed her. She almost fell asleep with me holding her against my heart that day – she was my baby.
• Traveling together between SC and GA to visit our future home, Sunny and I stopped traffic. She had her own perch on the passenger seat of my truck and we were pilot and co-pilot. She enjoyed staring at people in cars next to us at stoplights. We DID get some interesting stares, and people even followed us home sometimes just to get a better look at her getting out of the truck.

 After we moved to GA our lifestyle changed greatly. I started traveling more and at times Sunny was home alone and very unhappy.  We didn’t have television in the new house so she couldn’t watch cartoons when I was gone, and her pet friends were no longer there. She missed me and was often possessive of me when Martin was around. I often boarded her at a local pet shop with a woman who was very sensitive to animals. She began to enjoy her visits there with Connie and the other animals.

It took me a long time to make the decision, and even then I was not sure it was the right one. Connie had the perfect mate for Sunny and was interested in creating a comfortable home for the birdie couple. I knew it was time for us to part, and there was security in the fact that she would be local so I could still visit. The last time I saw Sunny was when I took her to the pet shop and said goodbye. I wanted to know that I was doing the right thing in letting her go. Sunny was remarkably calm and happy. As I said goodbye I felt the most wonderful sense of unconditional love flow through me, and a female voice spoke up inside and told me that everything was as it should be and that she understood that I was letting her go out of love, and that she loved me very much and would be all right. I had my answer. I let her go. And, we’ve stayed in touch ever since, but not in person.